Theory of 3 faces
There’s a Japanese proverb theory that says a person has 3 faces.
- The first face is shown to the world.
- The second face is shown to your family and friend.
- The third face is never shown to anyone, it is the truest reflection of oneself.
What does this proverb try to say? To sum up the first face, it's trying to tell that there is no trust and the character is shown is the one with the least errors and problems to be more loved, and hence the first face shown to the world would be a perfect mask and would be most “fake”.
In the second face, there’s a certain amount of trust between family and friends that varies, which results in less facade in your character and more of your so-called true self is shown to others. This face shines with a better balance between your better self and your true self.
In the third and final face, it is your true self that is never shown to anyone. It is the face that everyone’s afraid to show because it’s simply the most unknown or ugliest. According to the proverb, this would be your truest self or your most untainted self.
Do I agree with it?
To me, this theory makes sense to a certain extent. There is no doubt that everyone to a certain extent would be afraid to be themselves in a society where you get judged so easily. Hence the face showed would differ depending on the person while the face that is not showed would most likely be the most imperfect.
However, what I disagreed on would be the existence of a person’s character being like an onion where it gets more true as you slowly peel into a person towards their centre. To realise more of what a person’s true character is and what it means to have different “false” faces. That's where I came up with my own personal theory that I would call the Blend Theory where there is both falseness in truth and truth in falseness.
Blend Theory
In this theory, I believe that everyone’s character and actions that is showed no matter what situation, as long as it's more consistent and was not a quick one-time thing, it would mean that there is realness in that person’s character even if it was a mask.
A person’s character I believe is made up by
- Their original character, which can be traits like a strong will, which naturally exists in a person when they are born, and while can be affected to a certain degree but will always exist in them
- Their surroundings. A person definitely would act differently based on their surroundings like their parents, friends or just people that teach or impacts them in general. For example, you might notice that you and your friend might change over time to be more like each other. Such is the effect of your surrounding. In this case, your character here would be slightly less consistent but would usually be quite stable depending on how long you were in that surrounding.
- The final would be their understanding of themselves. They would build their character based on their understandings, from what they learnt, experienced and seen. This is the character that they wish to be.
By mixing in all these 3 things, you would get the person he is today, which is why a person can change other than the first point. This is also why I believe that to a certain extent, everyone was being truthful.
So what is a person’s true self?
A lot of people would say that their friend was being fake by not being their real themselves to them or that the person is so fake online. But using this theory, that persona that the person was showing might be fake to a certain extent but if it’s consistent there definitely be some truth that it was a part of that person. It is virtually impossible to act fake consistently without making a single mistake, there is no mistake in the so-called being fake because it was true to a certain extent.
At the same time, a person’s real character would also be fake as their surroundings or personal understandings could change. Even a person’s original character can be slightly changed if the second and third points are strong enough. Thus according to the 3 face theory, rather than the final face being the truest self, the first 2 faces were also the truest as that is the character that you were and have built when you use it. All 3 faces have the original character while built on the different surrounding and understandings. Rather than thinking as your character being corrupted, think of it that your character is water, it is ever-changing and could be frozen to become solid, but could also be melted down.
It’s hard to find a person’s so-called real-self is simply because there’s always a trace of falseness which would make it no longer true, while the many different aspects of a person could be considered the real-self because there is truth in that character. Which is why in the theory I believe that there is both falseness in truth and truth in falseness.
Conclusion
Instead of trying to find that one true-self, or doubt your friend for not being real with you, continue moulding your own character and continue to communicate with your friends to understand them better and to help mould them. Take the way the person was treating you at face value if it’s consistent, and if you notice any sudden change is when you doubt and you ask them if something was wrong.
P.s. This can also be why some killers continue killing. Because their understanding is wrapped and their original character is just that way.
